Pandemic...a metaphorical break?

Can you sense it yet: the slow unfurling of life all around? It feels good, doesn’t it?

The jokes usually start to flow in after a crisis begins, in this case: The Coronavirus pandemic. The Instagram was filled with gallows of humor about the global pandemic. The common ounce line that seems to have centered on the premise: Self-quarantine will play out like a sit-com or rom-com, if not then definitely a family drama.

The novelty of Zoom calls from kitchen table and a 30 second commute to sofa with a cup of strong coffee in hand; pandemic was happening.

The aroma of coffee was a part of rhythm of the day, anchor in the routine that soothe me and gave me a sense of normality and predictability.

Entrenched in pandemic life, each of us has dutifully donned our masks, avoided crowds and limited out travel in our collective desire to flatten the curve. The new normal has changed.

As we settle in the socially distanced world, a cup of coffee brings me a momentarily escape of introspection, observations and ways I could be anew.

As I sit on my sofa, slurping coffee, waiting for my Zoom calls to take over the day; I think of the lessons and hard truths about life. A realization dawned upon me, the things, habits and some beliefs that I needed change.

Although, I didn’t want to laden myself with long list of things to tick off to prove that I’m ‘on-course’ to a better life, a better me. Instead, the one ear taught me to make gentle promises to myself. Promises that will create more peace, more hope within.

The first promise is to be kinder to myself. A cliché at times, but as I dig deep into my worst memories, biggest regrets and darkest times, they are usually seeped in a heavy self-loathing. I carry around an acerbic voice hissing in the back of my head about how useless I am and how much better I can be. I berate myself that I am foolish, average, perhaps even utterly useless. The flaw of being average, blasé-boring and a mediocre are the parts of me that I want to banish from myself. Embracing these flaws, these weaknesses would be one of the kindest things I could to do myself.

Over the past few months, I have witnessed numerous people on Instagram breaking free from their lives they once lived. They were the high flyers who have thrown glittering careers to wind in search of something simpler and more sustainable. These are the individuals who were packed in age-old relationships, which, upon closer examination, appeared bound together by nothing more than a joint bank account and a shared past. These are the people who have embraced their flaws too: city-dwellers who have jumped to the country, pet-phobic who have become god lovers, stress bunnies who have transformed into mediative monks.

What have they done that the rest of have not? I think as I sip another bite of coffee. They have questioned what they want the new normal to feel like.

Another promise is to be do something that I’ve been historically been so bad at: setting boundaries. Telling people what I really need, want or don’t want have been near-impossible for me, so I’ve ended up in imbalanced relationships and dynamics that fall apart. So, it means that I need to start speaking my truth. I will start small by telling flexing ‘no’ muscle to friends that I cannot give them what they want as I am already overwhelmed. Speaking the truth often takes a little dose of courage, a bit of risk and a huge chunk of not caring so much about what other thinks of you once you’ve spoken.

As my coffee is getting over, I think about the strife and suffering. The lives of people who have suffered financially and those who had to bear the loss of their loved ones.

What if 2020 was the metaphoric breakup with our previous lives that we needed to get clarity on what we really want? What if the point of all this (the pandemic) upending change (upending being a polite way to describe the past year) is to offer us to a bend in the paths we’ve all, until now, unquestionably taken?

It feels very similar to something someone once told me: question your direction of travel very few years, for we are seldom the same person for our entire lives.

That’s scary, of course, for in confronting where you have been, you may find you have made some rogue turns along the way. The good news about acknowledging this is: it’s never too late to change your course.

For you, however, adjusting your direction of travel may not involve any big deviations, but rather smaller, almost-imperceptible alterations. A new haircut; a new way of dressing; a new outlook, perhaps. If this, is you, then you’re in the right place?

All this with just a cup of coffee.